First Christmas Without RJ

I wrote this after hearing some hymns at church around this past Christmas time. It was the third Christmas Morning that my husband and I have woken up to just us. No children. No laughter. No sneaking footsteps down the hall. For the third year in a row we were supposed to have children to spoil on Christmas Morning and yet we didn't.

With RJ gone it's been really hard to be excited about Christmas. I'm one of those who love singing Christmas Carols (normally). But it occurred to me today that I've never really sat down and thought about what some of them are saying. Since I'm not really into singing in particular this year, I was left to think about what the songs were saying. Sometimes when I think.... it can be a bad thing but I think it just might have been a good thing this time. For instance, the classic carol "Hark The Herald Angels Sing" break it down word for word, line for line,"Hark!" - means listen up! I have something to say!"The Herald Angels Sing" - not just any angels were in the sky that night, but the Herald Angels, the one who were to spread the good news of Jesus
"Glory to the new born king" - not just any king, but a newborn, a tiny, sweet, precious, helpless baby boy
"Peace on Earth and Mercy Mild" - this is what was to come, Peace all over the earth
"God and Sinners reconciled" - Before Jesus died on the cross we had to have sacrifices, and were separated from God due to the sin in our lives, now that Jesus has come, He filled that gap, He made the way to Heaven for us so that we may have everlasting life
"Joyful all ye nations rise" - All the nations on the earth should rise and be joyful!
"Join the triumph of the skies" - Everybody join in one accord and sing with the angels celebrating the birth of this precious child
"With Angelic host proclaim, Christ is born in Bethlehem" - The angels were telling everybody who could hear and would listen where this precious baby boy was so that they could worship him

"O Come All Ye Faithful"
This one has always had a clear meaning to me, but yet it just emphasizes how eager the Angels were for other to come and see Jesus and worship Him.

"O Come All Ye Faithful, Joyful and Triumphant oh come ye oh come ye to Bethlehem, Come and behold Him, Born the King of Angels, oh come let us adore Him, oh come let us adore Him, oh come let us adore Him, Christ the Lord"

"God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen"
This was another song that I would just sing because Hey, it's Christmas

"God rest ye merry gentlemen, let nothing you dismay" - God says "Don't worry! Everything is okay"
"Remember Christ our Savior was born on Christmas Day" - We're being reminded that Jesus came to save us from sin
"To save us all from Satan's power when we were gone astray" - No matter what we've done, God is there for us
"Oh tidings of comfort and joy, comfort and joy, Oh tidings of Comfort and joy" - sending messages to comfort you and to bring you joy in your time of worry

"It Came Upon and Midnight Clear"
This song has always been my favorite Christmas song.


"It came upon the midnight clear," - In the middle of the night, when most of the world is asleep and nobody was expecting it
"That glorious song of old," - the sound of the angels singing praises to God, a sound that has been sounding in Heaven for all time
"From angels bending near the earth," - the came down in order to sing to the Earth
"To touch their harps of gold:" - I would imagine that the sound of the Angel's voices was one of the most beautiful sounds you could ever hear
"Peace on the earth, goodwill to men" - What the new King will bring
"From heavens all gracious King!" - The King of Kings and Lord of Lords is Almighty, Wonderful, and most of all gracious
"The world in solemn stillness lay To hear the angels sing." - The world was in such awe at the sound of the Angel's voices it could not make a sound.

These songs take on a whole new meaning now. I wish I could share them with our sweet little boy but I know he's getting to hear the best sound in the world. A sound much more beautiful than the sound of his momma singing to him. I guess I was just warming his ears up to hymnals as I sang to him the night before he died. I can't even hear those hymns without crying now. I had sang to our sweet baby boy the whole pregnancy and when he was upset and I didn't know what to do all I could think was to sing to him the best songs you can sing. My voice is not a pleasant sound when I sing but I knew that he would know the love in it. I think the same thing when I sing in church. My voice is not the prettiest in the world but God knows there is love behind it.